Keeping Watch

I have been missing from Bloglandia, but I believe I'm back. I hope I'm back.

There have been so many times during the past year that I've wanted to hit the delete button on this little ol` blog o mine, but then I'm reminded of the wonderful friends I've made and how each of you has touched my heart in such a special way. Some of you have even become the dearest of friends and I can't imagine my life without you.


2009 was a difficult year, spiritually speaking, and while I wasn't keeping watch over my heart I allowed bitterness to take up residence and plant her ugly roots... my heart became hard. I found myself having the same conversation every morning with the Lord on my way to work and by the time I pulled into the parking lot I was either in tears or very very angry. Bitterness is one of the ugliest companions a girl can have and as much as I tried to shake her and toss her aside, like the ugly weed she is, it seemed she dug her roots in deeper and deeper.


And so I learned to live with her, as uncomfortable as her presence was. And she continued to tear at my heart until I thought there would be nothing redeemable left. I was becoming my former self. The person that I was before I met the Lord. Sad...alone...destitute...on the brink of total despair.


And I decided that things in my life needed to change. Mainly my work schedule. So I asked hubby several times if I could cut back my hours and he didn't give me the answer I was looking for until I told him what the answer should be..."yes Dear, you can cut back." And so I have and like a thick morning fog that lies over the land, then dissipates in the warmth of the noon day sun, I feel as if the heaviness has been lifted from my heart. Bitterness has been ripped from my heart and I am free to pursue different desires...follow after other yearnings.

And with each mornings sunrise I'm reminded of a day, years ago, when I found myself wandering through the High Sierra's with tears streaming down my cheeks, all the while wondering where was God in the midst of my chaos. Several minutes later I was in the general store face to face with the kindliest looking old man wearing a plaid hunting jacket and cap. I was searching for something and could feel him staring at me from behind so I turned to see who was there. He smiled with the gentlest smile. "It's a beautiful day today, wouldn't you agree?" Not knowing what to do I replied with a simple "yes." At that moment I felt as if he had looked deep within my heart and seen the sadness there. He again smiled and softly whispered, "I ordered it especially for you!" I turned away not knowing what to say and when I looked back he was gone.
My heart began to soften that day and each morning that I rise I feel it softening still. I think twenty-ten is starting out to be a good year.

Bitter or Better...

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
Matthew 4:1

If God is calling you to do something for Him, expect to be tested. Temptation is a test of your true character. Literally, it is a proving of the heart -- a demonstration of your inner motives. It challenges your convictions and exposes your weaknesses. But it serves an important purpose.

Jesus, here in Matthew 4, is being led up into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. No doubt He was dreading such a trip -- He hadn't eaten in 40 days, the weather was likely hot, and the mountainous terrain would be rugged. But it wasn't the devil who led Him up into the wilderness, it was the Spirit of God.

Yes, the Holy Spirit led Jesus. Notice that word "led." The transliterated Greek word is "anago," which means "to lead up into a higher place." You see, the Holy Spirit was leading Jesus into a higher place. And today, it's so important for you to understand that a testing from God will lead you into a higher place. So often we think that when negative things happen, they bring us down. But God's plan is to take you to a higher place. He wants to broaden your perspective, to deepen your understanding. And when you overcome, you will see that the real purpose of the test was not merely for you to succeed in a challenge, but for the Holy Spirit to empower you like never before.

Maybe you are in the middle of temptations right now. Maybe you are experiencing challenging testings. Realize that God is leading you with a purpose. Life's trials and setbacks will make you either bitter or better. They will leave you empowered by God -- strengthened in spirit and grateful in heart -- or bitter and defeated. It all depends on whether you place your focus on yourself, or on the Lord. After all, the only difference between being bitter and better is the letter "I".

The above was taken from:"Today's Devotion by Mike MacIntosh"

My Thoughts:

Every morning I wake to find a new devotion in my email box from my very first pastor: Mike MacIntosh. I always look forward to reading his thoughts on the scripture he's chosen, for the day, and this mornings devotion especially hit home. "The only difference between being bitter and better is the letter "I"." How many times does that one word trip me up in my walk with the Lord? "But Lord, I deserve better...I shouldn't be treated this way"...and the I, I, I's go on and on. When we get our eye's off the Lord and onto our selves we become discontent, disgruntled, and dislikable. I have to confess that this is where my heart has been lately and I don't like it very much, so today I have decided that my eyes need to be refocused where they should have been to begin with!

A Bright New Year…

I like to think that… with each new year we’re given a fresh clean canvas to begin anew…new dreams to dream...new ideas to discover...new inspiration yet to be revealed…and new paths to travel.

With each new year it’s good to glance back and see the road from wence we came… the victories we’ve shared as well as the struggles we’ve endured and yet overcame.

With each new year it’s good to remember when our hearts sang with joy for the beauty around us…if only for a moment.

With each new year it’s good to reflect and remember Who has blessed us beyond measure or anything we could ever imagine.

With each new year it’s good to have friends like you to dream with… to share with…and be inspired by.

Thank you for sharing this last year with me and I look forward to our time spent together in this new year.

Much love to all of you!

When you Walk...