Sunday, March 1, 2009
Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?
This is a question I must face. Because I am a Christian, there is a prior claim on my life. God is calling me, as He was Isaiah, to a specific task. Before He can reveal to me what He wants me to do, He must have my unquestioning obedience. Going for Him may entail traveling a great distance--or He might want me to work for Him right here at home. I won't begin to know until I answer as Isaiah did, "Here am I; send me." And the Lord replied, "Go and tell this people...." It may be that I'm to go to a faraway place to "tell" the gospel message, but more likely I'm to start "telling" it right where I am. Regardless of where it is--I'm to share Him. And the best way I can do that is to simply tell others what Jesus means to me, how He fills my life and makes it meaningful.
Taken from the book, "Today, Lord, I Will"
There was a note in the margin with a date February 11, 2004. I remember the date well as I was working with a ministry that hosted Fashion Shows and the entire troupe was heading to New York to put on their production. I wanted to go so badly, but for all the wrong reasons...I prayed and prayed and did a bit of pleading as well. I thought the Lord had given me the green light until I realized He was really saying "no". I learned a valuable lesson that day... to always check my motives... Why am I wanting to do this?... is the Lord "really" calling me or is it something I want to do just because I want to do it?
It was also a heart breaking day as I realized something that had been broken years before was beyond repair and I needed to let go of it. It was a friendship of twenty-two years involving the girl (now a woman) who had led me to the Lord, but that's another story.
Today as I sat here reading this devotion I remembered back to that time. What heartbreak, anger, and betrayal I felt, but the Lord was able to remove all traces of those emotions from my heart...simply because I said, "Lord, here am I."
NOTE: This was not where I was going with this post, but for some reason this is where it ended up so I'll leave it. I think it's funny how God's timing is always perfect. as I was typing my husband ran in the back door and told me that Barry was on the radio. He's the pastor of the church we were attending at the time (with my friend) where all this took place.
He certainly has a sense of humor.